Your question
arises out of a sincere feeling, and many of us are
confronted with a similar situation. In such cases it
is always better to be a little quiet and begin by
taking a deeper look at things that scare us. Why are
we afraid at the death of a loved one? Is it because
we will lose a comfort, something we are attached to?
Is it that there is only one person who loves us and
there will be no more love when that person is gone?
Or is it that we want things to remain just as they
are and not change?
Why Death
But do not all
these things limit us and the person we love? In fact
as Sri Aurobindo says,
"Death is
the question Nature puts continually to life and
her reminder to it that it has not yet found
itself. If there were no siege of death, the
creature would be bound forever in the form of an
imperfect living. Pursued by death he awakes to
the idea of perfect life and seeks out its means
and its possibility."
This is a quest you
could begin now with your mother. What is death? What
does it mean to separate? Why are we attached? What
is life for? You can also tell yourself that death is
a door through which we all have to pass. None of us
can avoid it. Then why to be afraid. What is
important is the way we live and the quality of the
life and how far we are able to offer it to the
Divine and to make it valuable for others.
How to
handle Fear
It will help you to
take a right attitude if you are aware of another
occult truth. Fear attracts what one is afraid of.
Therefore, your fear itself is apt to undo what you
are trying to do through prayer. On the other hand
the disturbance you are experiencing can be made an
occasion for becoming more aware of the different
parts of your being - the part that is lacking in
faith and hence is afraid and the part that has faith
and is moved to pray. Then gradually you could try to
integrate all the different parts of your being
around your inner being or soul, which is always one
with the Divine and therefore can never have any fear.
This will no doubt
take time and you would naturally like to know what
you should do immediately. You will find some very
practical suggestions in some answers given by the
Mother. Explaining the cause and origin of fear, the
Mother says,
"Fear is a
phenomenon of unconsciousness. It is a kind of
anguish that comes from ignorance. One does not
know the nature of a certain thing, does not know
its effect or what will happen, does not know the
consequences of one's acts, one does not know so
many things; and this ignorance brings fear. One
fears what one does not know...
That which
knows has no fear. That which is perfectly awake,
which is fully conscious and which knows, has no
fear. It is always something dark that is afraid.
One of the
great remedies for conquering fear is to face
boldly what one fears. You are put face to face
with the danger you fear and you fear it no
longer. The fear disappears."
The Mother was once
asked, "When one feels frightened what should
one do?"
The Mother answered,
"That
depends upon who you are. There are many ways of
curing oneself of fear. If you have some contact
with your psychic being, you must call it
immediately and in the psychic light put things
back in order. This is the most powerful way.
When one does
not have this psychic contact, but is still a
reasonable being, that is, when one has a free
movement of the reasoning mind, one can use it to
reason with, to speak to oneself as one would to
a child, explaining that this fear is a bad thing
in itself and, even if there is a danger, to face
the danger with fear is the greatest stupidity...
So with that kind of reasoning, manage to
convince the part that fears that it must stop
being afraid.
If you have
faith and are consecrated to the Divine, there is
a very simple way, it is to say: "Let Your
will be done. Nothing can frighten me because it
is You who are guiding my life. I belong to You
and you are guiding my life." That acts
immediately. Of all the means this is the most
effective; indeed, it is. That is, one must be
truly consecrated to the Divine. If one has that
it acts immediately; all fear vanishes
immediately like a dream."
She also said,
"For
mystics the best cure as soon as one begins to
feel afraid of something is to think of the
Divine and then snuggle in his arms or at his
feet and leave him entirely responsible for
everything that happens, within, outside,
everywhere - and immediately the fear disappears."
There are no ready-made
answers - each of us has to make his or her own
discoveries. Then all the wise words ring true.
