We discussed last time about
depression in normal life.
Now we come to the depression one
comes across on the spiritual path. Here too the
methods of conquering the depression are the same,
though the causes may be slightly different. Here are
a few letters of Sri Aurobindo which can help you in
taking the right attitude:
"These feelings of despair
and exaggerated sense of self-depreciation and
helplessness are suggestions of a hostile Force
and should never be admitted. The defects of
which you speak are common to all human nature
and the external being of every sadhak is full of
them; to become aware of them is necessary for
the transformation, but it must be done with a
quiet mind and with the faith and surrender to
the Divine and assured aspiration to the higher
consciousness, which are proper to the psychic
being. The transformation of the external being
is the most difficult part of the yoga and it
demands faith, patience, quietude and firm
determination. It is in that spirit that you have
to throw these depressions aside and go steadily
on with the yoga."
*
"It is not possible that
there should not be stumbles, failures, etc. in
the work of self-purification and change, but to
feel upset or remorseful over them is harmful
rather than helpful; it easily brings depression,
and depression brings clouding of the mind and
weakness. To observe calmly the wrong movement
and its nature (here it was the tongue that was
at fault and the tongue is always an easily
erring member) and to set it right inwardly is
always the best way. Calm, especially when the
true spiritual calm of the Self is there, is the
thing that must always be preserved; with that
everything else can be done in time and with the
least trouble. "
*
"The rule in yoga is not
to let the depression depress you, to stand back
from it, observe its cause and remove the cause;
for the cause is always in oneself, perhaps a
vital defect somewhere, a wrong movement indulged
or a petty desire causing a recoil, sometimes by
its satisfaction, sometimes by its disappointment.
In yoga a desire satisfied, a false movement
given its head produces very often a worse recoil
than disappointed desire.
What is needed for you is to
live more deeply within, less in the outer vital
and mental part which is exposed to these touches.
The inmost psychic being is not oppressed by them;
it stands in its own closeness to the Divine and
sees the small surface movements as surface
things foreign to the true Being."
- Sri Aurobindo
Seeking for the Divine and
Vairagya
There is a misconception which you
must avoid -- the prevalent belief that the best way
of seeking for the Divine is through sorrow, vairagya
and pain. This is not true. Rather it is through
faith and cheerfulness that one should seek the
Divine. Here are a few beautiful and inspiring
writings which will help you to throw away your
depression and walk joyfully and securely on your way:
"A smile acts upon
difficulties as the sun upon clouds -- it
disperses them."
*
"Another remarkable sign
of the conversion of your vital, owing to Agni's
influence, is that you face your difficulties and
obstacles with a smile. You do not sit any more
in sackcloth and ashes, lamenting over your
mistakes and feeling utterly crestfallen because
you are not at the moment quite up to the mark.
You simply chase away depression with a smile. A
hundred mistakes do not matter to you: with a
smile you recognise that you have erred and with
a smile you resolve not to repeat the folly in
the future. All depression and gloom is created
by the hostile forces who are never so pleased as
when throwing on you a melancholy mood. Humility
is indeed one thing and depression quite another,
the former a divine movement and the latter a
very crude expression of the dark forces.
Therefore, face your troubles joyously, oppose
with invariable cheerfulness the obstacles that
beset the road to transformation. The best means
of routing the enemy is to laugh in his face! You
may grapple and tussle for days and he may still
show an undiminished vigour; but just once laugh
at him and lo! he takes to his heels. A laugh of
self-confidence and of faith in the Divine is the
most shattering strength possible -- it disrupts
the enemy's front, spreads havoc in his ranks and
carries you triumphantly onwards."
- The Mother
"It is hardly a fact that
sorrow is necessary in order to make the soul
seek the Divine. It is the call of the soul
within for the Divine that makes it turn, and
that may come under any circumstances -- in full
prosperity and enjoyment, at the height of
outward conquest and victory without any sorrow
or disappointment, but by the sudden or growing
enlightenment, by a flash of light in the midst
of sensuous passion, as in Bilwamangal, by the
perception that there is something greater and
truer than this outward life lived in ego and
ignorance. None of these turns need be
accompanied by sorrow and depression. Often one
turns saying, "Life is all very well and
interesting enough as a game, but it is only a
game, the spiritual reality is greater than the
life of mind and senses". In whatever way it
comes, it is the call of the Divine or the soul's
call to the Divine that matters, the attraction
of it is something far greater than the things
that usually hold the nature. Certainly if one is
satisfied with life, entranced by it so that it
shuts out the sense of the soul within or hampers
the attraction to the Divine, then a period of
vairagya, sorrow, depression, a painful breaking
of the vital ties may be necessary and many go
through that. But once the turn made, it should
be to the one direction and a perpetual vairagya
is not needed. Nor when we speak of cheerfulness
as the best condition, do we mean a cheerful
following of the vital life, but a cheerful
following of the path to the Divine which is not
impossible if the mind and heart take the right
view and posture. At any rate, if positive
cheerfulness is not possible in one's case, still
one should not acquiesce in or mentally support a
constant depression and sadness. That is not at
all indispensable for keeping turned to the
Divine."
The True Attitude
"One must learn to go
forward on the path of yoga, as the Gita insists,
with a consciousness free from despondency -anirvinnacetasa-.
Even if one slips, one must rectify the posture;
even if one falls, one has to rise and go
undiscouraged on the Divine Way. The attitude
must be:
"The Divine has promised
Himself to me if I cleave to Him always; that I
will never cease to do whatever may come."
*
"I was simply affirming
the great need in all crises and attacks,-- to
refuse to listen to any suggestions, impulses,
lures and to oppose to them all the call of the
Truth, the imperative beckoning of the Light. In
all doubt and depression, to say, "I belong
to the Divine, I cannot fail"; to all
suggestions of impurity and unfitness, to reply,
"I am a child of Immortality chosen by the
Divine; I have but to be true to myself and to
Him -- the victory is sure; even if I fell, I
would rise again"; to all impulses to depart
and serve some smaller ideal, to reply, "This
is the greatest, this is the Truth that alone can
satisfy the soul within me; I will endure through
all tests and tribulations to the very end of the
divine journey". This is what I mean by
faithfulness to the Light and the Call."
Sri Aurobindo
We hope that the above writings of
Sri Aurobindo and the Mother will help you and
inspire you to throw away your depression and to walk
forward cheerfully and with confidence on the inner
path.
